


Palo Alto, Next Right

by Phoenix0fire



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Gen, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28727070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix0fire/pseuds/Phoenix0fire
Summary: Dean would have to go in there. He knows he has to unless he wants to do this alone.A little insight to Deans pre-canon mind.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester (if you squint)
Kudos: 7





	Palo Alto, Next Right

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired by the last episode of season 15 when Dean tells Sam he waited outside for hours before he snuck into his apartment.

Rain and oil glistened on the highway, shining bright against the yellow-tinted headlights of the 67 Chevy Impala. It had started raining some 50 miles back near milepost 102 but that didn’t deter the driver as he pressed his foot harder against the gas, watching the speedometer go up a satisfying thirty miles.

_“The number you’re trying to ca-”_

Slapping the cell phone shut Dean threw it behind him. He’s not really sure what he was expecting, he’d called that number about 40 times with no result. Dean didn’t really want to think about why the phone was going straight to voicemail.

Resisting the urge to rub his drowsy eyes he reached over and turned up the music, feeling the familiar thrum of the base vibrate in the air around him but doing nothing to calm his nerves. Instead, shaky hands gripped the black leather steering wheel in a sweaty grip, fingers turning white against the pressure. Besides the occasional break to re-fuel and take a piss along the 101, Dean has been driving all night.

“What the hell am I doing?” He asked out loud. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath fighting against the nerves telling him to _turn around, go back. No one has to know._ He pressed harder against the gas, trying to get the car to go faster before he had a chance to back out.

The last time Dean felt this… _tight_ feeling in his chest was when Sam decided to skip town for a better life. A life away from him. He felt like he was going to suffocate on his own tongue, heart hammering in his chest so fast it hurt.

His father doesn’t want to be found, Sam is enjoying the apple pie life he always dreamed of all while Dean is drowning, grasping around for things that weren’t there.

“God, I’m pathetic.”

He knew this. He’s never been able to function completely right since his brother left. Most days it felt he was barely alive, struggling to find the motivation to get out of bed. Saving people, hunting things. That's what he’s supposed to do, that's what he was raised for since he was four fucking years old. But then again, the thing he was supposed to be protecting left. He didn’t even look back.

What the fuck was he supposed to do with that? His father raised him to watch out for his little brother and then in a split second told him to get a grip and forget about him. Because he wasn’t family anymore.

He left them. Sam made his choice and his decision earned him a seat on a Greyhound bus and a scholarship to the most prestigious school in California. Both of which took him thousands of miles away from Dean.

_He left him._

**Palo Alto Exit, Next Right**

Stomach churning, he has half a mind to pull over. Instead, he just swallows thickly and signals his blinker. He wonders what his dad would think about conversing with the enemy.

‘It doesn’t really matter what he thinks,” he thought. ‘He left me too.’

At least Dean knew where his brother was going. After Sam moved to California for his new life Dean made sure to keep a careful eye on the paper for anything strange happening within a hundred mile radius of Palo Alto. Dean couldn’t do that for his father if he didn’t even know where he was. He doesn’t even know if he’s alive.

_**Stanford Villa Apartments** _

Taking a deep breath he drove the car around back.

‘This is such a bad idea,” Dean thought, “He’s just gonna tell me to go to hell anyway.’

And if rejection didn’t sting, he didn’t know what did. Dean can take rejection, has multiple times but it never hurts as bad as when its his little brother staring him dead on, eyes squinting in a glare, brow furrowed.

“Common Dean, stop being such a pussy.”

Dean would have to go in there. He knows he has to unless he wants to do this alone and that is the last thing he wants, he’s so fucking tired of being alone. He just wants his brother.

Sighing he takes a couple breaths and he waits.

And waits.

And he waits a little longer.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this story! I haven't written in about... 4 years and when I started writing this I. Was. Struggling. But that's kind of why I am posting this. I know this isn't great but I am working on getting better:)


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